So, I don’t often discuss it, but my childhood was quite interesting.
I struggled for a while because of school, and I had even darker thoughts at some point. Later on, I even made a judgment call and asked myself why I even stayed in school despite never having had that conversation with my parents. I distinctly remember having these thoughts, and I remember deciding why I continued without argument to attend school.
Ultimately, the reason I continued to go to school was the people the school gave me access to. Peers, friends, and staff - although I didn’t get along with all my peers, or maybe the relationships were adversarial, or maybe there were some class bullies - they were all good people. Especially when you could speak to them 1-on-1.
The next morning after making that decision, or at the very least around this time, was another memory I’ll never lose - it was 9/11. I continued my schooling and graduated. But, I never broke the feeling that I wasn’t getting a lot out of it, other than the joy I was having in my Information Technology classes.
Fast-forward a few years, and I find myself immersed in a community which I’ve continued to mature and develop my relationship with. It’s one of the most important things to me outside of home and work.
A few years pass, and I find myself in Wellington singing my heart out, and drunk, yes, but right before drinking a whole bottle of Soju. If only I knew what soju was before that - I may have reconsidered. However, that wasn’t the end of my singing career in the community, but it was a pivotal point in coming out of my shell.
Later, I underwent another transformation. We were lucky enough to have some members of the Drupal Association and Dries himself attend our local conference, DrupalSouth. These interactions brought me closer to the Association on a personal and professional level, and I genuinely did appreciate that they made that effort to come to Australia. I made a conscious choice to become more useful and engaged with the Association.
A couple of more karaoke sessions into the future pass, and I find myself in Japan with friends and friendlies - basically instant friends via association - who I do consider actual friends, all. And, I’m having a blast at karaoke.
Only this time, I’m not self-conscious, I’m not worried - heck, I wasn’t even drunk, and I was having a great time with these friends. I was looking forward to catching up with a few of these folks after seeing them in Singapore the previous year, and from all accounts I’ve received, that feeling is mutual. I had some recognition from a few of them that they were thinking of me or hoping I could make it. In fact, some of those people are extremely important people in the community, which is incredibly humbling.
Fast-forward just a little bit more, and it is all coming together. Something happened which I never thought possible for little old, nerdy me, given all the parameters of my life, all of my social issues, I feel… almost as if my identity is finally complete after nearly 40 years. Somebody pointed out that I’m not such a burden, and I am well-liked and connected in the community.
I enjoy getting involved in all sorts of things while traveling for work, and in all honesty, there are very few lines I would dare cross. I aim to push myself outside the realms of comfort and try uncomfortable experiences. To try as many new things as possible while being of maximum value to the community and my friends.
I am forever grateful for the human connections in my life, for my wife and daughter, the people in my professional circle who I’ve met and Conversed via work. There’s nothing I can praise higher, and I feel as if this is going to intensify my intentions over the coming years, With AI basically replacing most of the human interactions I have daily outside of work.
I really value these friendships more than I can express.
So, now to finish this formal acknowledgement of my appreciation to everybody who has contributed to bringing me out of this shell I’ve been living under since before I could walk and talk. To make me the person I am today, I am both incredibly humbled and appreciative - and I hope to continue the trend. In another 15 years, perhaps I can follow up on this post with something similar.